How was I to know how the day would turn out. If I knew what would happen today I certainly would never have stayed up drinking all night. But when your friends ask you out to a bar with a lot of hot girls what do you do? You fucking go, that’s what you do.
Well, I felt it today. When I got out of bed around 2 in the afternoon, having slumbered most of the day I was hungry. So I thought I would go down to the Subway for a sandwich like I usually do on Saturday for breakfast/lunch.
Imagine the look on my face when I walked down stairs and the street was full of zombies! HOLY SHIT! Zombies! It’s the day I have been preparing for. JROTC rifle team. Video games. The practice range. I am ready for this shit.
I slam the apartment door shut, lock it and run back up stairs for the 12 gauge shot gun, box of shells and the machete. I run back downstairs and just start blasting. 12 gauge buckshot to the faces of all those zombies! I quickly got my 6 shots off, and grabbed the machete to defend myself melee style before reloading the Remington.
Imagine my surprise as the zombies started to run away and scream! They don’t show that on the movies. But I thought, “This is real life. This is real shit. These are real mother fucking zombies”. I look down and start reloading for another zombie onslaught. As I was distracted, I was tackled to the ground.
“Oh Fuck,” I thought. I always imagined that I would last longer than this. I started slashing wildly with the machete but with every blow more bodies piled on me. Holding me down, grabbing my arms! Stopping me from killing them!
Imagine how I felt when I got a good look at them and found out they were the police!
“FUCK!!!”
Today is the Zombie Parade Walk. I just murdered defenseless non-zombie humans. Shit. I’m going to get ass raped now. Fuck.
Well, I felt it today. When I got out of bed around 2 in the afternoon, having slumbered most of the day I was hungry. So I thought I would go down to the Subway for a sandwich like I usually do on Saturday for breakfast/lunch.
Imagine the look on my face when I walked down stairs and the street was full of zombies! HOLY SHIT! Zombies! It’s the day I have been preparing for. JROTC rifle team. Video games. The practice range. I am ready for this shit.
I slam the apartment door shut, lock it and run back up stairs for the 12 gauge shot gun, box of shells and the machete. I run back downstairs and just start blasting. 12 gauge buckshot to the faces of all those zombies! I quickly got my 6 shots off, and grabbed the machete to defend myself melee style before reloading the Remington.
Imagine my surprise as the zombies started to run away and scream! They don’t show that on the movies. But I thought, “This is real life. This is real shit. These are real mother fucking zombies”. I look down and start reloading for another zombie onslaught. As I was distracted, I was tackled to the ground.
“Oh Fuck,” I thought. I always imagined that I would last longer than this. I started slashing wildly with the machete but with every blow more bodies piled on me. Holding me down, grabbing my arms! Stopping me from killing them!
Imagine how I felt when I got a good look at them and found out they were the police!
“FUCK!!!”
Today is the Zombie Parade Walk. I just murdered defenseless non-zombie humans. Shit. I’m going to get ass raped now. Fuck.
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