When my female friends call me a sexist pig, my response? "OINK".
I admit it. Why? Because I am a man. I do not have a wife to hold my balls for me. I freely let them hang in my boxers, and yes; they hang low.
Now, I have had a couple complaints that I am not female friendly. This is The Complete Musings of James. Like I have to change my musings to get more views. This shit is for me. I am saying what is in my head. Now I could be more family friendly, less ass and titties. But lets review a few stats....
Now when ever someone calls me sexist here is what I love to point out. My facebook friends list. I have currently 137 friends, out of those 54 are female. The percentage of chickery used to be much higher. But if you are lucky enough to be my facebook pal then you will see that the people that interact with me regularly are women.
Are they dumb whores that likes a sexist man that tells them to make a sandwich? I prefer to think not. I do know that they don't much care for sandwich jokes.
I actually made that one myself. You're welcome world.
But the truth is women say they like nice, sweet guys. You know what women are? Liars. Women say they like a guy that agrees with them. BULL SHIT. I tried being a nice guy and got no where. I decided to embrace my manhood and wave that shit all over the place and you know what. BAM . Bitches .
Truth is women want a man that will not do what they say. You do not want a sensitive guy. You want a guy that is sort of a dick, tells you where you're going to eat dinner without nicely asking "where do you want to go?" You don't want a man with feelings. You want a man that will knock a mother fucked out. You want him to put some meat on the table, and I am talking more than one kind of meat.
This mother fucker brings the pain.
So to shift gears lets talk about female self esteem. Man. You bitches is fucked up. Society tells you to go against all your self desires. How many times have I dated a chick that was just a dirty whore in the bedroom, and I knew it, but because of the bullshit of the world, they think that they shouldn't sleep with a guy before a certain time.
Here is what I have to say about that. If you want to fuck a guy then fuck him! Can I get an amen?
uhmm...what was I saying?
Now, for my female friends with low self esteem I have for years had one piece of advice. Now I will share that advice free of charge with you. This is copy and pasted from something I wrote back August 23, 2011.
Many of you have heard me say this before, but for those who haven't here is a rehash: Many of you think that I am a sexist pig...fuck you bitches...but I do actually have female friends, check out my friends list...my friends list is a freaking clam fest. 3 to 1 girls to guys up in here. When I have a female friend with low self esteem I tell them to go be a stripper. I am not joking!and they say oh no I am to fat, or too skinny, or my boobs arent big enough But, I tell them that no matter who or what you are, there is a guy out there for you. Porn teaches us this. Look at all the fetish stuff... I don't care if it is an albino black midget quadriplegic...somewhere there is a guy thinking....hmmmmmmm...I'd hit that!
And it is as true now as it was when I wrote it last year and as true as it was when I first thought of it.
And here is some new advice that I have formulated for female friends that are single and unemployed, or even have a job but are sexually frustrated:
Ask about her "brown bag" special.
That's right. Sell that pussy baby! Make that money! Oh that's right. Society tells you 'whores are horrible people'. Fuck that. You think you are better than them? They have a job they enjoy. Do you?
Like you're so fucking better than them.
Get your ass out there on that street corner and fuck your ass off. Well, whores don't really do that anymore. Well the nasty ones do, But you don't want to be a nasty whore and I certainly don't want to be friends with a nasty whore. I want you to be a fancy whore.
Get your ass the fuck on the internet. Sell your candy on a website. Get the dick and the money.