Originally posted Oct 31, 2006 to myspace
First off, happy HALLOWEEN you punk ass Goblins and Ghouls.
Second off, I just ate some chicken wings...mmmmmm. I should have ate them at the restaurant. The girls were dressed in some of the skankiest costumes. Jebus. It looked more like Hooters than Buffalo Wild Wings. Man. What a pair of D cups can do to a males disposition. If more women ever realize how to harness the power of their breasts... men... we will truly be FUCKED!
CAN you say President Brandy?
I believe this was a reference to Adult Actress Brandy Talore
Well, a stripper couldn't be worse than "W". DUBBYA... jebus again...
3rd off, I am watching the History channels history of Halloween. My running comment to the TV... "Fucking Christians". Thanks for killing everyone who disagrees with you, all throughout history!
I have guns, so bring it on assholes!
These really are some of my guns.
Well, on to my bitchfest:
I drove back from Troy, Al to Hattiesburg, MS this afternoon. I just have to ask... DOES ANYBODY IN THIS COUNTRY REMEMBER HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE!?!?!?!
Jesus fucking christ. It is NOT your god given right to sit your ass in the fast lane people! It is called the passing lane for a reason. You pass slow people in that lane then get your sorry ass over into the slow lane, you shit heads! THEN when people are merging onto the interstate, you get out of their fucking way!
I mean, god, the fucking NAZI's could drive, and they thought cooking other human beings was a good idea (It isn't by the way). Up until the last decade the autobahn was No speed limits. You know how it worked for 50 years? Wanna know? Do ya? THEY KNEW HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE!!! Everyone drives a decent speed, they stay out of the damned left lane and are courteous to other drives or else. or else means tickets and you get your license taken away.
The United States interstate system was based on the German one...that worked, by the way. Not only that but it was designed for cars from the 40s and 50s. that means cars that accelerated at a much slower pace and had antiquated brakes that sucked ass compared to modern ones. AND it was designed for speeds up to 100 mph.
"...move bitch, get out tha way..."
So why does our system not work? Well the 55mph speed limit in the early 80s sure had a hand in fucking it up. At that slow a speed it doesn’t matter if you drive like a fucking moron. Most people can avoid you.
But today with limits up to 75 people are still driving with no intelligence.
One of the things that pissed me off today is I was driving at a little under 10mph under the limit, that would be 80mph. Being a bit of a lead foot I put the cruise control on to keep me from accidentally getting up to 90 and having a night stick shoved up my ass. And people wouldn’t get out of my way and even had the nerve to pull in front of me instead of waiting an extra 5 seconds to pass someone.
No, I did not get a ticket today but they were out there..."oh it's the end of the month I have to get as many tickets as I can to keep sarge out of my ass". Let me just say. I hate the police. they are worthless doughnut eating cock suckers.
I doubt any little kid grows up wanting to be a cop to sit on the side of the road and give out tickets to otherwise law abiding citizens. No. kids want to be heroes and help people. What a lame life one must live to be a cop. state troopers especially. The lowest form of law enforcement life. Now from my experience sheriffs and sheriff deputies usually do their real job (putting criminals behind bars) and only pull you over to give you a warning if you need it. Detectives are generally decent human beings as well. but anyone with a ticket book can lick my balls.
Moving on.
While on the interstate...use your fucking cruise control! It is there for a reason...other than your laziness! There was this Mercedes SUV (obvious cock sucker) that at one moment would pass me at about 85-90mph, then the next moment I would pass them doing a paltry 55. What the fuck?!
Ok...what else is there to bitch about? Hmmm. 18wheelers that pull out in front of you and take 5 minutes to pass another big truck. fucking inbreds.
Well, I think I am about bitched out now. yup. That’s it. No trick or treaters yet... lazy kids... put the damned PSP down and knock on my door to get some of my candy. GOD DAMNED IT! Ok. That’s it I think.
Ok later, I will be posting this in my blog and emailing it to my friends so sorry for the double copies any of you that applies to.
so in conclusion, If you don’t know how to drive, please learn. Happy Halloween bitches... and most importantly...breasts are great! Please feel free to show them off and the world shall be your oyster... and if you have DDs, let me be your first slave in your war of world domination!
Opps! One more bitch! I got back to Hattiesburg too late to get a massage, and damned it my back hurts. I love when you move around and it sounds like your crunching celery...love it!
ok, that's it. Promise.
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