Three Bits of Wisdom - from the archives

Originally posted on Myspace on May 12, 2009

Dating wisdom for the ladies

Recently I was thinking and had a small epiphany about dating. Unfortunately, It is not for guys and therefore unusable for me, but for the girls it may help.

See I had a sort of conversation with a girl I had went out with a few times, she was talking about the typical perfect guy one who brought flowers for no reason, helped around the house, listened to your stupid girlie bullshit, blah blah blah. I realized I was that guy. I did all that shit. Not for her of course because I didn't really like her...But I did it for my ex because I actually liked her.

THAT'S IT. A guy has got to LIKE you.

You see I had always thought of there being 2 types of women (three really) the unspoken type that I have no interest in, in any way shape or fashion. Then there are girls worth dating and then just friends. Then I realized towards the end of college they have to be your friends to be worth dating. No matter how you divide women I just realized there was a new type... a wet hole to put your penis in. Wait wait! I know your like whatever, but wait and listen.

If a guy is dating you your not a "not interested type", or a "just a friend type" (yet). If he is not that great to you, if he seems uninterested, doesn't seem willing to do whatever...it's because your just a wet hole for him to fill. Dump him! find a good guy who thinks more of you, or keep being just a wet hole if your fine with that.

BUT! If the guy likes you! Now that's different, he'll bring you flowers for no reason help you do stuff listen to your bullshit and your crying and will even put up with you hanging out with your stupid friends that we really hate...oh, and we do! He'll even drive a round trip of 12-14 hrs on the weekend to see you, even though he knows the relationship is pretty much over but will do it just to keep it going...if he LIKES you.

Now you’re thinking, all guys are the same they're all jerks, blah blah blah, my vagina hurts. Shut up, sure plenty of guys are jerks, I am surprised by how shitty guys are sometimes, guys you wouldn’t expect to, will cheat...but why? BECAUSE HE DOESN'T FUCKING LIKE YOU! You’re just a wet hole. Find a guy who thinks more of you. Find a guy who LIKEs you!

SO...

If you liked that last bit of wisdom I just dropped on you you'll love this one. I've actually been sitting on this one for a while but since I am full of wisdom to dispense (too much Lost?) please, have some more.

So we all hear about the path that we take in life. We all look at this as a linear path if at all. I look at it slightly differently.

We're all in a a crowded wood. Each on our own path, sometimes paths cross, that’s when we meet different people. Sometimes our paths are parallel, that's when we know people and become friends, enemies, lovers for a while. And then sometimes our paths go off in different directions, that’s when friends move away, enemies die, are vanquished or move on, and lovers find you gave them VD and leave you...just joking on that last one! Sometimes we have the choice to take different paths. You can chose a path to keep you near someone or away.

So, if you liked that one ask me sometime about how the existence of Black matter proves the existence of God...seriously! I mean it! (my god not jesusy god, terrorist god, fat god or the multihanded god)

now #3 do not ad current co-workers or potential romantic interests as friends on myspace or facebook because then you can't talk about them and you have to hear their lip if you do.