Gas Station Peanuts

Be me.
Be at gas station to use bathroom... do i want to get a snack while I'm here?
Go in bathroom.
*pull dick out to piss*
Think...huh... nuts.
Peanuts sounds good.
Continue drive while snacking on dill pickle, ranch, and salted roasted peanut.

Thanks to the men who have sacrificed for me

I would like to take a moment to thank all of the men who have sacrificed so that i dont have to.
Sometimes i think that i would like to be married and have a family.
But then i see a poor miserable man having his soul slowly stolen from him by an annoying soul sucking harpie cunt of a woman. Then i see another man in a store with his piss poor behaved offspring. Sometimes i momentarily lock eyes with these men... and i see the regret in their eyes.
Thank you sir. Thank you for your sacrifice. Your family doesn't give a shit about you but i do.