The Dangers of Archaeologists - from the archive -

This was originally posted on my myspace profile on Sep-24-2006...enjoy:

Alright, so most people have no idea what I do. I assume that they assume, since I am not on the Discovery channel, and don't walk around wearing a leather jacket and hat (like that schmuck on "Digging For the Truth") I am not what they are expecting. And I sure as hell am not Indiana Jones. I've never seen a nazi...believe me...I've looked for them!

Damn you CRM Archaeology...I'm only 27!

I was recently asked what my job was like. My answer: "Hiking in the woods...in a straight line...carrying a shovel and screen and backpack.. digging holes...looking for artifacts.
I didn't mention the dangers we face...

HOLES: not the ones we dig, although you can fall in one..not that I ever did that...anyway. There are wells on historic sites. Holes left by trees that have rotten away.

Picture stolen from: http://www.indiana.edu/~caveart/fall09/bstayer/reference.html

VEGETATION: Poison Ivy, briars, trees that slap you in the face,poke you in the eye and my personal favorite the poke in the ear, don't forget the good old groin slapper, being stabbed by a recently macheted limb. I worked with a guy who fell on one and stabbed himself in the thigh nearly missing an artery. A professor fell on one once (i.e. pungy stick), Mother Nature is a bitch...make no bones about it...archaeology...bones...pun intended.

Welcome to the jungle.

MACHETE: speaking of machetes. I have a scar on my left index finger that can attest to the horror of the machete.
I recently got a boo boo on a finger when I was changing the machete from one hand to the other, the blad it the finger nail and got me at the base. The professor mentioned earlier slashed one of my fellow students in the back. Accidentally of course.

SNAKES: "I am tired of all these motherfucking snakes on my motherfucking transect!" Let's see... we saw the biggest damned rattle snake EVER the other day, I macheted a path to dig a hole a few months ago and it turned out I had cut my path and walked just inches from a rattler. Seen plenty of pigmy rattlers and moccassins on the florida coast. I once in North Georgia dropped a rock and bent down to pick it up and noticed a copperhead about 6 inches from the rock...my hand was about a foot from it and my foot was about 9 inches from it. In florida me and another guy was digging a 2x1 test unit (he was digging I was screening the dirt) It turned out other than artifaqcts there was a snake nest there!!! luckily nonpoisonous green snakes. knew a girl who sliced through a snake on a shovel test. yikes..

This guy had lunch with us...only feet away...and we never knew it.

TICKS: enough said.

Yeah, you never saw these fuckers on Indiana Jones did you?

SPIDERS: besides the obvious I got bit by a banana spider recently. it killed the skin on my neck in a 1/2 inch diameter.

Just remind your self that they eat the BAD bugs.

2012 Update:

Barbed Wire: Crossing fences are bad enough but when the fences are barbed wire there is more danger. Imagine rusty oddly pointed barbs going into your flesh. I never thought it would hurt that much. And it didn't. The barbed wire going IN wasn't so bad...the coming out hurt like a bitch!

Mommy, I got a boo boo on my arm...

Bulls: Cows live in pastures, we often have to dig in pastures. It sucks but cows are curious...retarded lumps of tasty beef...but curious. They like to investigate and bulls don't care about your shit. Just check out this sign I got on  a project:

The Locals: generally you are the harbinger of their land being taken from them. Or your an asshole helping that big corporation come in and ruin paradise. I have heard of people being run off at gun point. I know I have talked to people with guns on them. But I like guns so I don't care.

"What'chu doin' on mah land, college boy?"