To this I must say: "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Prehistoric peoples dug irrigation ditches with sticks and stones and their bare hands, for miles out west to water their crops in the desert. Why can't a dip shit redneck in Iowa do that? We have literally advanced as a society so far that we can build a 1 ton outer space dune buggy fly that bitch to Mars, fly it down, release it from a tether and then have a remote flown space craft blast off having never touched the surface. All while we cant communicate with it for 20 minutes, and it does all of that on it's own.
But seriously, Farmer Jones can't get some fucking water for his crops? Can it be that fucking hard? I guess it is easier to suck on those farm subsidies than to use your brain as a farmer now a days...don't get me started on those fucking farm subsidies...we are actually paying assholes NOT TO FARM instead of actually farming.
So obviously farmer Jones needs some help here so read this and thank me later:
Step 1: Dig a fucking hole, asshole. That's right. This is called a well. Not one of those that dumb ass children fall into but one that goes down several hundred feet until it hits an aquifer.
Calm your tits farmer Jones. You do this with a truck.
Note: If there is a body of water nearby you can skip this part booger muncher.
Step 2: Buy a fucking pump. No, dip shit not a dick pump...
WRONG!
...a real pump. A big ass pump, for pumping water. This is going to be an engine that powers a pump that pumps water.
RIGHT!
Step 3: Buy one of those big ass irrigation rigs. You know the ones.
Yeah that thing. They are jointed and motorized and move around using the water pressure to move their selves.
Step 4: Hook them bitches up!
titties!
Step 5: Turn it on and water that corn! Try not to eat it all.
"God damn that shit is good"
Step 6: Sell that corn, GET MONEY!
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