Halloween Express

 Originally written last year and posted on craigslist...cause that's how I roll sometimes.

To:

The asshole at Halloween Express in Kennesaw, GA

(That is the one that has a sign spinner dressed like a mexican at the corner of Barret Parkway and Busbee Parkway, same shopping center as TJ Max and Marshalls)

I would like to tell you about my day today. You see I woke up today like I have most every other day of this year, unemployed. You see I have worked 7 weeks out of this year. I woke up today wondering how I was going to pay my bills. I have given up on paying the credit cards, but my worry is the rent. You see I am 2 months behind on it.

I tried to call back the food stamp office from when they called me the other day. You see things are so bad that I am trying to get on food stamps. Yes, it really is that bad. But unfortunately my cell phone was turned off because Verizon thinks their bill is more important than the rent. Personally I disagree. I decided I would drive down to the Verizon store and pay my bill, while there I would buy some Naan at the Indo/Pak store. As I went outside I was reminded how much my poverty has effected my beloved car. It is 16 years old. I love it but it is being neglected, the other day a piece of the tail light actually fell off. But I digress.

I saw that your store “Halloween Express” had reopened for the Halloween season and I decided that since I was right there and I have been a customer of yours for the last 3 years I would see if you had any job openings. You handed me an application and asked if I was willing to hold a sign on the street corner. But then rolled your eyes and took it away rather rudely when I told you that "I'd rather not do that". I thought that was rather rude.

You see, I am a 35 year old man. I have a college degree and over a decade as an archaeologist ..can you even spell archaeologist? Do you even know what an archaeologist is?  I have worked in coastal swamps where the temperature was 100 degrees with 90% humidity. But please, forgive me if I have to much god damned dignity to dress up like a fucking racial stereotype on the side of the fucking street for your shitty little store.

By the way, I will never shop at said shitty little store again and will urge my friends not to either. Thanks.

Sincerely

The guy you rudely pissed off.