When
I was a kid I loved books. I loved having them read to me and then I
loved reading them. As I got older I loved writing. When ever there was a
group writing assignment I became very popular. As I always got a good
grade and I always wrote it myself...as I am not really a "team player" .
I am more of a' fuck it I will do it myself', kinda person...but I
digress.
I remember in I believe 9th grade, we had to write a book report. I decided I wanted sci-fi and I wanted crazy and original.I also remember my friend Ken wrote about Hitler's "mein kamf". I wondered what was wrong with him....but anyway back to the important stuff, me! I found a good book. I think it was written by Asimov. It was about a woman who had a servant that was a sentient otter...or a beaver...the teacher saved me for last and it seemed that I did not disappoint as the class was in complete shock of the literary masterpiece that I had just described to them. The teacher even congratulated me, telling me that she was always surprised by the unique stories I came up with. To this day I am not sure if they thought I had actually made it all up...I actually read that!
I
wrote a lot of little short stories and created a "underground comic'
that had some decent fame among my group of friends, and I am afraid a
few of the teachers who got to see it when one of them was taken away
and given to the office. The comic "Adventures in the Land of Goshen"
was centered around my friends and un-friends at the school. It was a
super comic series mixed with comic strip humor...from a middle school
kid.
During the last few years of my stay at Goshen High School, I had wanted to be a teacher. But combined with my ever growing attention to the fact that children sucked and were getting worse every year I decided to listen to the people who had been telling me for years that I should become a writer. SO I went to school for Journalism.
But due to the way the journalism school at Troy State University was set up, you had to take a series of classes to get your minor or to move forward into the more advanced classes to count for anything. These lower level classes sucked out what interest I had to write for a news paper. They were the same remedial English class over and over and over again. Plus journalism people were so fucking boring.
In the mean time I was taking more and more anthropology classes as my minor. They were the opposite of journalism. I was learning new things. Many that told me what I had already been taught was wrong! And the people were interesting...and weird...not at all the types I had met at my tiny little high school. Not really being a people person and not one to want to go out of the country to meet people who's language I couldn't speak, and honestly because I am to much of a judgmental person I gravitated towards archaeology. As I could do it at home not in Papua New Guinea.
The dirty whore of Archaeology had me in her grasp, the decision was sealed when I found out that if I changed my major I could graduate in a quarter...or semester...whatever they were. It seems that in my 5 years of college I had taken to many "interesting" classes and not enough "ones I had to take" and was told to get out by my mother.
So I gave up a life of writing for a life of walking around in the woods with a lot of shit while digging holes looking for dead peoples trash while fighting mosquitoes, chiggars and ticks.
FUCKING AWESOME, RIGHT?
Oh, my friend it gets better. You see as the assholes who own archeology companies don't give a shit about their own people. We are fucking disposable. Middle aged men who grew tired of fucking their wife's decades ago love to hire nubile little girls fresh out of college. And when those girls prove worthless in the field they get comfy office jobs, because as a woman they can't be fired. And when people who have over a decade (or more) experience get laid off they get to stay in the office. Anyway this is about how awesome I am not how much Cultural Resource Management sucks a big donkey nut.
A few years ago I started posting more and more on facebook, and you weird people seem to like it. Recently my friend Melinda (one of those interesting anthropology students from college) told me that my posts are one of the two reasons that she logs into facebook. Which is interesting. Lets take a side trip back to college...
So I met Melinda my first or second year in college. I am hesitant to tell this story but I guess I will. I remember when I first saw her. I was walking from the Adams center up to the building where the anthology classes were held I was looking down at the side walk and out of my peripheral vision I saw someone. I looked up and it was a girl wearing black. Being a guy I will go through this thought process. I saw the legs and thought ooh, and moving up there were a series of more oohs. Until I looked at the over all picture. At that point I thought to myself "OH SHIT, IT'S A WITCH!!!"
I looked back down and kept walking...but it started following me! I walked into class and she was right behind me! (mental "OH SHIT"). My friend Chris introduced her as "Melinda, she's a witch". No shit I thought. I came to like Melinda, she was one of the most interesting people I had met.. She graduated and moved on, I heard from several people that as a person she "tolerated me", I prefer to think that I was well tolerated... every year or so I would send her a "are you still alive' email". A few years ago one stuck and we became myspace and then facebook buddies, and then real life friends again.
It took her a while to realize how super fucking awesome I am...it seems to take some people a while. Have you learned how super fucking awesome I am yet?
OK so we will come back to Melinda and her part in this story of super fucking awesomeness in a bit.
SO many of you have been telling me how awesome I am and that I entertain you. Even people who never comment on my shit will tell me later how much they enjoy the stuff I write...uh...write a fucking comment sometime! This is going to take me on another side trip:
A few years ago I was dating this girl, actually a bit more than just dating. She was ok, but there are reasons she is an ex, one of these reasons is she didn't think I was funny. Yeah, I know can you believe that shit! (Let's not bash her as she is a facebook friend and might read this) . But I remember this one fight we had where she told me "I wasn't funny and that no one thought I was funny". Well there was this other girl that I worked with that I was kind of attracted to and if I had not been living with someone would have pursued. This girl thought I was funny, and without thinking mentioned it...so lets recount that fight.
HER: Your not funny and no one thinks your funny
ME: Well 'so and so' thinks I am funny!
ME: (mental dialog) OH SHIT!!! Did I just say that out loud...
HER: Well maybe you should date her!
ME:(mental dialog) fine...touche...you've won this round...by default !
So now you all, well not all, like to tell me how funny I am and how I brighten your other wise sad and pathetic lives. I have been joking that I should charge you guys...I actually wasn't joking...as I have a plan festering in my head.
SO this weekend Melinda's boy friend (who is a fellow nerd and car guy) Micheal had a party that I went to, and Melinda at one point was telling everyone how awesome my facebook posts were, and everyone was like oh yeah that sounds great. Well Micheal pulled up my facebook page and read for the group his favorite James Status from the previous week:
"So I don't live in medieval times, and I've never created a mass grave, so I have to wonder as a morbid person, when you throw 17 people into your water well to die and rot...that well is pretty much finished right? I mean...you close that one up and go dig another one right? No one wants to drink soilent green flavored water..."
which was my reaction to this news story:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13855238
Well Sunday I woke up to 3 new friend requests!
But at the paryt Jill and Jennifer (great another Jennifer...just what I needed another Jennifer to keep up with) reaffirmed what I had already been thinking. I need a Blog.
How would that work you ask? well...I write stuff on my blog then I link to it on facebook. Instead of you reading it on facebook you read it on this other page. It is free to you and if you happen to click on one of the ads on the page I get a little money...and you damned well better click one of those fucking ads!
This would free up my facebook for just friends and give me a web presence the entertain the masses and make a buck. I also am not a fan of facebooks privacy and how it is willing to let anyone who makes an app have whole sell access to all of your stuff, if you use it.
I have also been considering this as i want a blog for archaeology stories, something for my christwire character(http://www.facebook.com/susanbxenu), and a regular James one.
I am looking at blogs now. there are free ones but I hear that there is almost no support and ad revenue is much smaller as is access.
Don't worry for you as the adoring James Fan this will be free...just click on my fucking ads!
I remember in I believe 9th grade, we had to write a book report. I decided I wanted sci-fi and I wanted crazy and original.I also remember my friend Ken wrote about Hitler's "mein kamf". I wondered what was wrong with him....but anyway back to the important stuff, me! I found a good book. I think it was written by Asimov. It was about a woman who had a servant that was a sentient otter...or a beaver...the teacher saved me for last and it seemed that I did not disappoint as the class was in complete shock of the literary masterpiece that I had just described to them. The teacher even congratulated me, telling me that she was always surprised by the unique stories I came up with. To this day I am not sure if they thought I had actually made it all up...I actually read that!
 |
| image stolen from http://digital-art-gallery.com/picture/gallery/character_design |
During the last few years of my stay at Goshen High School, I had wanted to be a teacher. But combined with my ever growing attention to the fact that children sucked and were getting worse every year I decided to listen to the people who had been telling me for years that I should become a writer. SO I went to school for Journalism.
kids suck
But due to the way the journalism school at Troy State University was set up, you had to take a series of classes to get your minor or to move forward into the more advanced classes to count for anything. These lower level classes sucked out what interest I had to write for a news paper. They were the same remedial English class over and over and over again. Plus journalism people were so fucking boring.
Hot off the press! I wanna kill myself!
In the mean time I was taking more and more anthropology classes as my minor. They were the opposite of journalism. I was learning new things. Many that told me what I had already been taught was wrong! And the people were interesting...and weird...not at all the types I had met at my tiny little high school. Not really being a people person and not one to want to go out of the country to meet people who's language I couldn't speak, and honestly because I am to much of a judgmental person I gravitated towards archaeology. As I could do it at home not in Papua New Guinea.
The dirty whore of Archaeology had me in her grasp, the decision was sealed when I found out that if I changed my major I could graduate in a quarter...or semester...whatever they were. It seems that in my 5 years of college I had taken to many "interesting" classes and not enough "ones I had to take" and was told to get out by my mother.
Archaeology, you're doing it right.
So I gave up a life of writing for a life of walking around in the woods with a lot of shit while digging holes looking for dead peoples trash while fighting mosquitoes, chiggars and ticks.
FUCKING AWESOME, RIGHT?
Oh, my friend it gets better. You see as the assholes who own archeology companies don't give a shit about their own people. We are fucking disposable. Middle aged men who grew tired of fucking their wife's decades ago love to hire nubile little girls fresh out of college. And when those girls prove worthless in the field they get comfy office jobs, because as a woman they can't be fired. And when people who have over a decade (or more) experience get laid off they get to stay in the office. Anyway this is about how awesome I am not how much Cultural Resource Management sucks a big donkey nut.
I ain't touching that!
A few years ago I started posting more and more on facebook, and you weird people seem to like it. Recently my friend Melinda (one of those interesting anthropology students from college) told me that my posts are one of the two reasons that she logs into facebook. Which is interesting. Lets take a side trip back to college...
So I met Melinda my first or second year in college. I am hesitant to tell this story but I guess I will. I remember when I first saw her. I was walking from the Adams center up to the building where the anthology classes were held I was looking down at the side walk and out of my peripheral vision I saw someone. I looked up and it was a girl wearing black. Being a guy I will go through this thought process. I saw the legs and thought ooh, and moving up there were a series of more oohs. Until I looked at the over all picture. At that point I thought to myself "OH SHIT, IT'S A WITCH!!!"
I looked back down and kept walking...but it started following me! I walked into class and she was right behind me! (mental "OH SHIT"). My friend Chris introduced her as "Melinda, she's a witch". No shit I thought. I came to like Melinda, she was one of the most interesting people I had met.. She graduated and moved on, I heard from several people that as a person she "tolerated me", I prefer to think that I was well tolerated... every year or so I would send her a "are you still alive' email". A few years ago one stuck and we became myspace and then facebook buddies, and then real life friends again.
It took her a while to realize how super fucking awesome I am...it seems to take some people a while. Have you learned how super fucking awesome I am yet?
OK so we will come back to Melinda and her part in this story of super fucking awesomeness in a bit.
SO many of you have been telling me how awesome I am and that I entertain you. Even people who never comment on my shit will tell me later how much they enjoy the stuff I write...uh...write a fucking comment sometime! This is going to take me on another side trip:
A few years ago I was dating this girl, actually a bit more than just dating. She was ok, but there are reasons she is an ex, one of these reasons is she didn't think I was funny. Yeah, I know can you believe that shit! (Let's not bash her as she is a facebook friend and might read this) . But I remember this one fight we had where she told me "I wasn't funny and that no one thought I was funny". Well there was this other girl that I worked with that I was kind of attracted to and if I had not been living with someone would have pursued. This girl thought I was funny, and without thinking mentioned it...so lets recount that fight.
HER: Your not funny and no one thinks your funny
ME: Well 'so and so' thinks I am funny!
ME: (mental dialog) OH SHIT!!! Did I just say that out loud...
HER: Well maybe you should date her!
ME:(mental dialog) fine...touche...you've won this round...by default !
So now you all, well not all, like to tell me how funny I am and how I brighten your other wise sad and pathetic lives. I have been joking that I should charge you guys...I actually wasn't joking...as I have a plan festering in my head.
SO this weekend Melinda's boy friend (who is a fellow nerd and car guy) Micheal had a party that I went to, and Melinda at one point was telling everyone how awesome my facebook posts were, and everyone was like oh yeah that sounds great. Well Micheal pulled up my facebook page and read for the group his favorite James Status from the previous week:
"So I don't live in medieval times, and I've never created a mass grave, so I have to wonder as a morbid person, when you throw 17 people into your water well to die and rot...that well is pretty much finished right? I mean...you close that one up and go dig another one right? No one wants to drink soilent green flavored water..."
which was my reaction to this news story:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13855238
Well Sunday I woke up to 3 new friend requests!
But at the paryt Jill and Jennifer (great another Jennifer...just what I needed another Jennifer to keep up with) reaffirmed what I had already been thinking. I need a Blog.
How would that work you ask? well...I write stuff on my blog then I link to it on facebook. Instead of you reading it on facebook you read it on this other page. It is free to you and if you happen to click on one of the ads on the page I get a little money...and you damned well better click one of those fucking ads!
This would free up my facebook for just friends and give me a web presence the entertain the masses and make a buck. I also am not a fan of facebooks privacy and how it is willing to let anyone who makes an app have whole sell access to all of your stuff, if you use it.
I have also been considering this as i want a blog for archaeology stories, something for my christwire character(http://www.facebook.com/susanbxenu), and a regular James one.
I am looking at blogs now. there are free ones but I hear that there is almost no support and ad revenue is much smaller as is access.
Don't worry for you as the adoring James Fan this will be free...just click on my fucking ads!
I don't know what were going for but he is ready!
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