When I Am President: The Feline Solution

When I am President I will work on a comprehensive jobs program to put all Americans to work. These people will be put to work solving issues that we face as a nation. One of the biggest issues are cats.

That's right. Cats. Felines. Aka Felis silvestris catus. Those furry pieces of shit that look cute and cuddly but are waiting for the moment you drop dead to feast upon your rotting flesh. 

Be not confused my fellow Americans. Cats are evil. They do nothing for this nation but eat the kibble that could be better put to use in the food bowls of good loyal American dogs.

My Marriage Rant

A lost post from... like a year ago???

There are two things right now that are really fucking getting on my nerves...

 1. People that think they know me.
 Guess what... you fucking don't. I would say there there are maybe 3 people on my friends list that actually get me. Chances you aren't one of them. Shit. There is only one of my family members that get me.

 2. The idea that getting married somehow makes you a better person or a complete human being.
 Guess what... it fucking doesn't. How many of you married someone and had a failed marriage. I can't tell you how many times in the last week i have heard 'that person must be gay because they aren't married' or something similar. That is so infuriatingly stupid...moronic..imbecilic... god damn I cant think of a word to properly describe the level of stupidity in that statement/train of though.

 Maybe that person doesn't want to marry an asshole and waste a decade of their life before they fucking realize it. Just because I haven't married some dumb cunt doesn't mean shit other than "Hey, I am not stupid enough to marry an asshole". And for the record if you have ever been divorced then just keep your opinion on marriage to yourself. Don't think this status is about you or you comments its not... it takes more than one comment by someone on Facebook to annoy me.

I Am A Whiny Bitch Because Superman Is Too Realistic.

"Hold me to your bosom."

Dear Comic Book fanboys:

I am so fucking tired of you whining about how super heroes are supposed to be super-fucking-awesome-happy -good-guy-heroes like the propaganda that they were in the 1950's. Guess what. It's not 1950. Shit wasn't realistic then, not now.

Iron man is supposed to be a drunken asshole. Is he a drunken ass hole in the movies? Do I complain about that? Noooo. Because guess what. Having a drunken driver of a Iron Man jet suit is bad for kids. So shut the fuck up about Superman not being 1950's propaganda.

We have *hick* a hulk... but *hick* I'd trade him for ah Bourbon.  

He's a fucking adopted orphan. His planet, along with all of his family was obliterated like Alderaan, and he is a fucking God on this planet. His best friend becomes his greatest enemy, The internet killed journalism and newspapers so he is fucking unemployed, and he is fucking allergic to intergalactic chunks of his home planet. Not to mention he hangs out in a fucking crystal cave to get away from people. He has some fucking issues. Get over it. He has a dark side. He can't always be the happy go lucky sack of kittens that you want him to be. If he occasionally want's to kill a motherfucker and wreck a city...just shut the fuck up and let him.

He's fucking Super Man!