Well in my 30 something years I have seen a few things. Traits that we think are uniquely human I have seen in animals.
Animals have sex for fun, Animals kill for fun, animals mate for life, animals have feelings, animals can find their home from hundreds of miles away, animals will stop others from fighting. Animals can understand language. Animals do everything that we do. I have seen this. Except one.
Animals do not wipe their ass.
And if you ask me we got the short end of the stick on this evolutionary trait. Of all the things I do as a human, I find nothing more demeaning than wiping my own ass. Who the fuck thought this was a good design? Evolution, intelligent design... somebody tell me! Who thought having to buy tissue paper to wipe our ass with was a good idea.
Why can't I just take a shit and keep going. I feel so cheated. And just sitting there wiping and wiping until everything is clean, it wastes so much of my day. I could be online looking at porn or something more rewarding that wiping fecal waste off of my body. It's so disgusting. If I ever win the lottery I am paying someone to take care of this for me.
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