Be me.
Be at gas station to use bathroom... do i want to get a snack while I'm here?
Go in bathroom.
*pull dick out to piss*
Think...huh... nuts.
Peanuts sounds good.
Continue drive while snacking on dill pickle, ranch, and salted roasted peanut.
Monday, October 29, 2018
Gas Station Peanuts
Thanks to the men who have sacrificed for me
I would like to take a moment to thank all of the men who have sacrificed so that i dont have to.
Sometimes i think that i would like to be married and have a family.
But then i see a poor miserable man having his soul slowly stolen from him by an annoying soul sucking harpie cunt of a woman. Then i see another man in a store with his piss poor behaved offspring. Sometimes i momentarily lock eyes with these men... and i see the regret in their eyes.
Thank you sir. Thank you for your sacrifice. Your family doesn't give a shit about you but i do.
Sunday, April 8, 2018
Really Hooman?
Hamburgers: Y U No Healthy?
Plus why cant fast food employees get it that I am fat and want a combo... and another burger to go on the side, Because I am hungry as fuck? I spend a lot of calories bitching about things all day.
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Don't sit so close to me
I am also anti-social and anti people. I like to sit in a nice quite corner of a restaurant.
I have literally stared at people until their whole family moved.
Saturday, March 31, 2018
Online Dating Headline Fail
better?
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Dear Burger King
No amount of card board crowns will make up for your shitty food and service.
Guess what. Your ketchup is out. Its always out. Always. You know why? Because we need a shit ton of it to choke down the worst fries in the business. They taste just like the card board crown.
Can you please hire people that know how to do their job? Perhaps the tattooed trash should work in the back. Where they will surely spit on my food and use meat patties to wipe their ass. No you put them at the counter, i love reading the names of all the guys the crack whore that is ringing up my order has fucked. Tony was here. Jamal hit this.
Where do you get these people? Prison work release?
I wonder... some where out there... is there a burger king with competent employees?